The Sewer Chewer Newsletter #7 %BASIC:DATE%
 
Wow!

I really don't like how fast these weeks fly together. I'm going to leave the roundup stuff to Jason as he's kicking ass with it. I have some more focused stuff to cover, so bear with me.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerfest!

It's in theaters now and I cannot tell you enough how important it is to see it this weekend if you're planning to see it. If you are a Broken Lizard fan, then you owe it to yourself and them to get out there. It's a blast and though the Atlanta screening turnout was horrible, I expect things to be much better over the weekend and hey, if you haven't noticed, the ads and commercials are pimping my "I laughed so hard beer came out of my nose and I don't drink beer" line. That makes me happy. Seriously, it's a blast at the movie theater. Catch it if you can this weekend.

http://chud.com/reviews/7480

We're Looking for a Few Good Calls

Our beloved Steve Murphy is moving on to Podcast-free pastures, but only because he's a grumpy coot. Are we curling up and crying? Hell no! We're getting more interactive and fun. In addition to doing podcasts as a duo with occasional guests, we've opened up a voice mail line for you to call and ask questions, offer comments, or so whatever the hell else you feel like doing. Many of these calls will fuel the podcasts from here on out and we're also scheduling calls to interact with you live for them as well. Details are below, but please give us a call at 678-827-0940 and help us get this party started right.

http://www.chud.com/news/7481

Got a Question for The Rock?

I'm chatting with the man on Monday about his upcoming Gridiron Gang, a very by-the-numbers crowd pleasing film (by onetime phenom Phil Joanou!) about street toughs who rehabilitate through pigskin. I know you love the man, it's impossible not to. If you have something you want me to ask him, send an email to nunzichud@yahoo.com. Please, nothing sexual.

-Nick Nunziata


So here's the thing: I never know what the fuck to write for this newsletter. I have found that the best way to make sure I don't get something done (a review written, an interview transcribed, etc) is to talk about in advance. I put my Top 10 movies of the year so far in the first newsletter, claiming I would flesh it out in an article and here we are at #7 and I forgot what I even put on the fucking list.

I guess I could write about how much I have loved this season of Entourage, but I kind of want to save that for a real THUD article (and those are so few and far between). I could tell you about this insane Australian movie I saw over the weekend called Defenceless: A Blood Symphony, which is best described as I Spit On Your Grave done as a silent movie (yes, there's no dialogue in the whole film, but multiple penises get cut off in surgical detail). Ooh, maybe the newsletter would be a good place to complain about how bloggers go about their business when it comes to movie news and how I see more and more of them linking to fellow blogs rather than the site - like CHUD - that broke the story in the first place. Or I could tell you that I'm reading the second book in Cormac McCarthy's Border Trilogy and that I wish I could write 1% as well as he does.

Instead I'll just promise you that next week will see the return of The Prognosticator (which I think I already promised you), which will also be made a part of the newsletter. That's right, each week's newsletter will feature our Prognostications about the movies being released that week. New! Better! More Powerful! Tastes Great!

Maybe next newsletter I'll think of something good to write.

-Devin Faraci

CHUD.COM
Loads of updates... and we mean LOADS! Gooey loads, even!
NEWS

THE IMMORTAL SPIDER-MAN
Spidey may have more sequels than Jason Voorhees.
http://chud.com/news/7484

GEORGE A. ROMERO'S DAWN OF THE... BLAIR WITCH?
Romero signs on for a fifth Dead film. But there may be a catch.
http://chud.com/news/7483

THE JOKER GETS MEAN
The world's greatest print magazine gets Dark Knight info.
http://chud.com/news/7477

I KNOW WHAT MOVIE YOU'RE ABANDONING NEXT SUMMER
Kevin Smith still insisting he'll make a horror film.
http://chud.com/news/7476

THE BEERFEST PUB CRAWL WITH BROKEN LIZARD
Or, "Ouch! My liver!"
http://chud.com/interviews/7454

GET BEHIND THE MASK
One of the best movies of 06 is finally getting a release!
http://chud.com/news/7471

LIQUID METAL ELVIS
Robert Patrick may be elderly Elvis in a Jay Mohr comedic mystery.
http://chud.com/news/7468

THE BEST... SO FAR
Devin lists the ten best films of 2006 to date.
http://chud.com/news/7467

ROGUE SQUAD LEADER
Genre studio, meet WWII comic book.
http://chud.com/news/7466

DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE IN GANGSTER
Ridley Scott rounds up players and playas.
http://chud.com/news/7465

SOUTH PARK BOYS GET LIVE
Parker and Stone come back to real actors with a giant monster movie!
http://chud.com/news/7457

THOR'S COMIC COLUMN
The Comics Code does not endorse this f*ckin' column.
http://chud.com/thor/7455

CHOKE ON 'EM!
A picture of Ving Rhames as Rhodes in the Day of the Dead remake.
http://chud.com/news/7453

ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES A VIKING
Karl Urban keeps on his high concept Viking movie roll.
http://chud.com/news/7451

INDIANA JONES AND THE PROBLEMS OF PROBLEMS
Is it time to really let the scruffy man go?
http://chud.com/news/7450

INTERVIEWS

BRYAN BARBER (IDLEWILD)
Devin talks to the guy who told OutKast how to dance.
http://chud.com/interviews/7479

BARRY EISLER
Only on CHUD.com: Cameron speaks to the mutli-talented author behind the John Rain series.
http://chud.com/interviews/7462

REVIEWS

LA FEMME NIKITA - SEASON 4 (DVD)
A femme that's easily forgot, says Ian.
http://chud.com/dvd/7482

BEERFEST (FILM)
A brilliant burst of barley infused guffaws, says Nick.
http://chud.com/reviews/7480

HARSH TIMES (FILM)
Nick digs on the new Bale.
http://chud.com/reviews/7470

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: CELLO
Jeremy prefers the guitar.
http://chud.com/dvd/7463

A PUP NAMED SCOOBY-DOO, VOL. 4 (DVD)
Jeremy says it ain't your Daddy's Scooby-Doo, but it's the next best thing.
http://chud.com/dvd/7464

TSOTSI (DVD)
Ian digs on one of 2005's best films.
http://chud.com/dvd/7459

CLASH OF THE TARTANS: 9 SONGS (DIRECTOR'S CUT)
Jeremy ain't humming the tunes.
http://chud.com/dvd/7461

HALF NELSON (FILM)
Don't believe the hype, Devin says.
http://chud.com/reviews/7421

THUD

SURVIVOR - SEPARATE BUT EQUAL ISLAND
Will Devin root for The Bull Connors, The Black Panthers, The Tong or The Latin Kings?
http://chud.com/thud/7472

I GOT 99 PROBLEMS AND THE 4400 AIN'T ONE
The 4400 is coming back for a fourth season - and Devin wants you to tell him why he should watch.
http://chud.com/thud/7460

WHO WANTS TO BE A CROTCHETY OLD MAN?
Devin wonders what happened to the Stan Lee we used to know.
http://chud.com/thud/7452

THE FETAL FILM REPORT
Eileen's back with updates!
Bug
Trailer, poster, stills
http://www.chud.com/movies/5508

The Ground Truth
Trailer
http://chud.com/movies/7370

Hollywoodland
New summary, official site link, new poster
http://www.chud.com/movies/5491

Invincible
Five new clips (various formats)
http://chud.com/movies/3744

The Return
Official Site, release date, trailer links, stills
http://www.chud.com/movies/5489


NEW PAGES

Catch A Fire
http://chud.com/movies/7475

Fantastic Four - Rise of The Silver Surfer
http://chud.com/movies/7445

Hostel 2
http://chud.com/movies/7443

Last House on The Left
http://chud.com/movies/7446

Red Sun, Black Sand
http://chud.com/movies/7444

-Eileen Bolender

THE SPECIAL EDITION
Newell speaks, listen!
I know I normally chime in every once and a while and upchuck whatever curios that you pay to care attention to, but this week is even more different because, well, I'm not really going to be talking much about DVDs.

By now you've already heard that Disney, when not laying hundreds of Southern Californians off - and I picture both Iger and Cook with a giant painting of Walt, crying out "This is Walt! He is like the buzzing of flies to you!," before sending out a hit squad on my misinformed and conjecturin' ass - yes, by now you've heard they've officially unofficially announced Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest for 12.5.06. Extras are kind of spotty, with some featurettes on Piracy (not the digital kind) and Dolby Digital sound. Plus, you can surely bank on there being a Special Edition somewhere down the line. You can't just put a $400 + million dollar film out there and not squeeze the consumer with multiple bites of that succulent, Depp-infused apple.

Look up further from your DVD player and you'll notice the receptacle for transmitting images - no it's not what I call your Mama. Recently, HBO has shown one of the best programs I've seen all year, and that'd be Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke: A requiem in four acts. I know Devin writes for THUD, but I just wanted to call out to whatever sanity you have left and implore you to check it out, even if you have to break and enter into a shifty neighbor's house to watch it (and naturally, Real Sex afterwards, since that'll most likely be the real reason why). Still, see this. Experience it. It's nothing short of a much-needed hit over our complacent heads.

But back to DVDs, and with it comes yet another week. Sales may have allegedly cooled off some 5% from the glory days of 2000-whatever, but chances are you'll never know. Any given week I find myself drawn to a multitude of items, partly since I've been known to view anything and everything under the sun, provided it's good. This upcoming Tuesday will see American Gun, Arrested Development: Season Three (sadness), Friends with Money, The Hard Corps, Humphrey Bogart: The Signature Collection Vol. Two (with a 3-disc Maltese Falcon!), Jewel of the Nile: SE, Romancing the Stone: SE, Lonesome Jim, Lord of the Rings: Limited Editions, Nip/Tuck: Complete Third Season (read Nick's DVD review http://www.chud.com/dvd/7329), The Sentinel, Take the Lead, Water, and Taylor Hackford's White Nights.

Finally, if your foolhardy libidos can't stomach it anymore, feel free to let me know what you think of things with an e-mail or two. Any and all suggestions are welcomed, since recently it's been like Morgan Freeman's trek to the rocks in Shawshank: empty, yet also hard.

As always, have a good weekend and don't forget that should all else fail, at least there's a Special Edition of James Muro's seminal Street Trash on the horizon. 9.26.06, to be exact.

Click here

Put that in your metal can and smoke it.

-Newell Todd

CREATURE CORNER
NYC Screenings, Savage(s), you know... the usual
We've got another screening coming up in NYC this weekend... check the site later today for details. Can you say Return of the Living Dead? You most certainly can- we're going to be showing the film that quells the running zombie debacle this Sunday.

In other news, I've been getting pretty heavily into the films of Mark Savage- thanks to Subversive's awesome box set that comes out next week. (Savage Sinema From Down Under) Those Australians, man- they sure know how to make some violent, bleak movies. This looks to be a great set...

-Alex Riviello

NEWS

BLOOD CAR RUMBLES ON
No blood for oil?
http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=news&id=1607

FRIEDKIN BUGS YOU
Exorcist director returns to horror
http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=news&id=1604

RAIMI:GOD OF WAR
First shot from My Name is Bruce
http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=news&id=1598

THE DVD SLICE
Get all your weekly horror dvd goodness right here
http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=news&id=1595

DVD REVIEW: DAWN
A nice new twist on the vampire genre
http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=reviews&id=1593

FILM REVIEW: DESERT OF BLOOD
Will enjoys
http://www.creature-corner.com/?type=reviews&id=1599

11 COLONELS ATTACK!
Come give Compost Larry a big smooch!
Please visit the 11 Colonels MySpace page well as my brand new one at these locations:

http://www.myspace.com/11colonels
http://www.myspace.com/nicknunziata
Contests
THIS ISLAND EARTH
Win Metalunians on DVD!
CHUD Puzzles
First there was The Graboid. Then The Thinker. Now we have the Crypt-O-Gram!. Just about every day we're going to try to tax your mind. Dave Davis. Myself. Matt "Blofeld" Hindmarch. Short of the accursed Soduku trend, let us know of you want to contribute some film related trivia and minutia to make the site more interesting.
Know Your Chewer!
Become familar with your fellow Chewers by visiting the Chewers section at SewerChewer.Com. There you will find profiles chock full of information.
CHUD Message Boards
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